Very Mixed Feelings Indeed

before, i was so certain that there was something between us -you know 'if he didnt have a girlfriend...'- but now i guess i have to face the fact that there might not be. does that make sense? before, i had a very safe little crush that wasnt going anywhere. now i face the possibility of rejection, ruining a friendship, watching him flirt with other girls, and the dreaded 'lets just be friends'.

ah crap. i cant win.

plus i have no patience and i dont want to wait for him to go through his rebound stage. he needs to be single, as he hasnt been for like 10 years.

so, again another lesson in patience for me.

hell, they only broke up last night (though apparently had done so a week earlier as well, and rocky for some time, which i did not know), nothing is ever final. i need to back off and calm down.